One thing starving writers may sometimes do to earn some quick cash is write copy for greeting cards. I tried this but can’t get the hang of it. I thought I’d write some silly and funny ones and see if they get published or released or whatever. I figured it’d be easier to write the punchlines first and just figure out appropriate “me-to-you” setups to go along with them. I came up with exactly one greeting card punchline:
…until you married that whore.
This punchline, I have found, is universal. It could work for any occasion:
Birthdays always were your strong suit…
You graduated! Congratulations! The world was your oyster…
My condolences for your loss. Your mother was always a calm, nurturing person…
Get me Hallmark on line 1!
