Pervez Musharraf Comes Out Of Retirement, Is Traded To The Cardinals

Just hours after reversing his decision to retire permanently as president of Pakistan, it was announced that Pervez Musharraf has been traded to the beleaguered Arizona Cardinals.

“He’ll make a great addition to the team,” said Kurt Warner, who had been competing with teammate Matt Leinart for the starting QB position.  “We’ve seen what he can do in the conflicted northwest region of Pakistan, so we’re confident he’ll bring change as leader of this franchise.”

Musharraf had resigned earlier Monday in order to avoid impeachment proceedings being held against him.  Shortly after his tearful resignation speech had been broadcast across national networks and the Internet, Musharraf reversed his decision and announced that he was coming out of retirement.

“This should have been a historically great day for Pakistan and a triumph for democracy,” says Samina Ahmed, South Asia project director of the International Crisis Group. “Now, it is just awkward and sad.”

Musharraf’s reinstatement as Pakistan’s President was roundly rejected by that country’s parliament, and the ex-president announced his intention to govern for another team.

“I was never that committed to retirement,” Musharraf said in an interview with Bob Costas, “I was pressured by parliament to make that decision before the election and the start of the free agent cabinet appointment period.”

Pervez Musharraf’s time as president of Pakistan was marked by nearly 70 percent approval ratings, and he was known as a key ally in the United States’ War On Terror.  Speculation abounds regarding whether the 65 year-old former general will be effective in his new role as Cardinals quarterback.  The team did not qualify for the playoffs last year with a record of 8-8.

“Look, the man survived three assassination attempts and stymied the Taliban over his nation’s volatile border with Afghanistan, ” proffered Cardinals head coach Ken Whisenhunt, “I think he’ll be able to learn the playbook.”

Pervez Musharraf will be the starting quarterback on August 28th against the Denver Broncos.  He is expected to play about 12 snaps or until an attempt is made on his life, whichever occurs first.