RE: Phil’s New Hat

Yes, I’m wearing a men’s hat.  Take a good look.  It’s just like in the movies.  No, I don’t feel out-of-place wearing this thing.  The only people who seem to mind are people who’ve known me to not wear hats for my whole life.  A hat is a valid choice.

You know, I could say some things about the fashion choices you’ve made.  You’re not perfect.  But when you boldly present yourself at the risk of appearing unsightly or, God forbid, out of the ordinary, I hold my tongue.  This is not because I come from a place of diminished power due to my new hat.  It is because I’m classy.  Wearing a men’s hat assures my status as a classy man about town.

Yes, the feather is removable.  I’d remove it but then I don’t know what to do with it so that it doesn’t get ruined in case I want to wear the hat with a feather in it at some point.  So I’m rocking the feather.  The way the hatter intended, thank you very much.

I’ll not entertain the notions of haters.  You’re just jealous because now if you decide to go get yourself a pork pie hat of your own, it’ll be because I planted the seed.  I am setting a trend, regardless of whether anyone participates in the trend itself.  My hat is a delightful accessory to liven up my already almost-formal day-to-day attire.  It does not define me.  Rather, I will redefine it.

If you wish to continue hating on my hat, please refer to the following helpful website:

http://philbilly.ytmnd.com