Wall E

I saw Wall-E this weekend and it’s awesome.  But it got me thinking about the future, because it shows all humans in chairs and drinking french-fry milkshakes rather than walking and eating real meals.

But a french-fry milkshake kinda sounds good to me?  Is that bad?

Here are my top-ten milkshakes that don’t exist but should (in ascending order because there’s more suspense that way):

10.  Turkey-Apple-Brie shake:  This is a really awesome sandwich, so I figure it’s still pretty good once it’s pureed.

9.  Chips-Guacamole-Lime shake:  I would miss the action of dipping chips into dip (Why is that fun?), but the portability of this drink more than makes up for that.

8.  Everything-From-Taco-Bell-In-A-Shake shake:  You’d have to have like 18 times the cinnamon crisp things vs. everything else to make it palatable.  But is it really that different from regular Taco Bell in shake form?

7.  Snyder’s-Buffalo-Chicken-Wing-Pretzel shake:  Soften the pretzels with a little concoction of Ranch + Bleu Cheese.  Need I say more?

6.  Actual-Buffalo-Chicken-Wing shake:  See #7.  This has more protein so it’s higher on the list.

5.  Lobster-Butter shake:  Costly.

4.  Bacon-Egg-&-Cheese shake:  This will definitely burn in the back of your throat as it goes down.  Especially if you’re like me and ask for Pepper-Jack cheese.  The best.

3.  Ruby-Tuesdays-Apps-Sampler shake:  Mozzarella Sticks, Jalapeno Poppers, Chicken Strips, Queso Dip and Southwestern Spring Rolls.  Chum this up with a Diet Coke to save on calories.

2.  Numbers-6-and-7-combined shake:  Add extra ranch-bleu cheese potion, and make sure there’s a football game on.  And a doctor nearby with stockpiles of Plavix.

***DRUM ROLL***

1.  Chocolate-with-turduckin-and-garlic-mashed-potatoes-and-cranberry-sauce-and-fuck-it-why-not-put-some-butternut-squash-casserole-in-their-too:  This is the only one of these that actually sounds good.  I think it speaks to the power of chocolate to make anything good.

-M