PRIEST: (muttering) PopePopePope…OK here we go.(clears throat)
Good afternoon, citizens of this great nation. We are blessed here this day, because we are joined by a special guest. No, it’s not my cousin Frank – the esteemed “Hot Dog King” of Newark, New Jersey, though Frank is in the audience with you. Hello, Frank. Frank please stand and wave to everyone. That’s my brother Frank everyone, as you know.
The man I am introducing to you today is not any man. By that I don’t mean that he’s a woman. I mean he’s a he, of course. I just referred to him as a he. He’s more than a man is what I mean. He’s the man who has the ear of God. Or he has God’s ear. No no God has his ear. To count on. He listens to God, much like you and I do when we pray, only he hears it better. He hears God in HD-THX Quality sound, where as we have bunny ears on our religious televisions. And no component stereo system.
He does much good for the world; he rides around in a little special car with bulletproof glass on it, and that shows the world that no one is safe, not even the man who has God’s ear. Who God’s ear he has. I wonder if God told him that he should make a tiny car with green glass on it to keep safe. But I seriously question the structural integrity of such a wimpy looking vehicle. Honestly, who’s going to go after the Pope with a handgun, or even a sniper rifle? I’m thinking anyone who really wants to take out the Pope is using rockets. Right? Am I right?
Frank, you think rockets? See, yeah, rockets. Franksy and I; eye-to-eye on this one.
So, here his ladies and gentlemen, to make his Sunday mass, the A-Rod of God, (nice one Frank) – his holiness The Pope!
Best day of my life.
