I’m an American, and you know what that means. That means I love the sport of arm wrestling. I work hard day and night to make sure my guns are taut, primed, loaded, and ready to flatten anyone who dares challenge my superiority. Lately, though, I’ve been feeling a guilty pinch. It’s as if something is missing from this lifetime I so enjoy. If only there was a way to combine arm wrestling with a chance to demonstrate my mental prowess and hand-eye coordination.
Friends, my ship has come in:
Finally, they’ve combined arm wrestling with the video game Tetris! What took them so long? I can’t wait to snap someone’s arm off at the shoulder just as I’m lining up a 4-line to hit the slot just right. Tetris, bitch! That’s what I’ll say.
This is only the beginning. Imagine a future where nearly athletic competitions of every stripe are combined with feats of the mind and thumb:
- Indian Leg MegaMan
- Rock, Paper, Battletoads
- Bionic Comman-Hunt
- Super Mario Spitting-For-Distance
- Bloody Knuckles of Zelda: The Ocarina of Pain
- Mike Tyson’s Punch-Foot-Race
The possibilities are endless! What combination would you like to see?
April 16, 2008 at 7:57 am |
That guy’s girlfriend will eventually get tired of fighting her boyfriend to have a good time. Or will she?