WORK.

One of my bosses at work has been asking me to submit a bio for our company’s website. Now, I am the office manager/office assistant and while I would not want to lessen the responsibilities or importance of the position, I know I have no business being on the website. Anyway, after avoiding giving a bio for MONTHS, finally, I had to submit one. This is what I gave them:

Stephen Soroka: Stephen “Steverino Sorokster” Soroka first became interested in answering phones when the restaurant he was working at unexpectedly closed and he still had rent to pay. A graduate from Muhlenberg College (or “Not Yale” as it is know in the office) Steverino often eats lunch at Maui Taco. When he’s not replacing the toner in the copy machine or screaming at sales representatives, you can find Steverino creating hilarious viral videos, like YouTube smash hit, ‘Trillions’ which is about to start its second season. Other interests include improv comedy and co-workers female relatives.

My boss responded: “Great. Let’s use it. Not.” He made a “not” joke.